Ruby
by OnlyOneToBlame
Summary: "I didn't know you liked me." I whispered back, since I cannot even think about raising my voice any higher with him this close to me. I can see his eyes more clearly now. They are blinking, rather rapidly, diverting his eyes from one of mine to the other. Beautiful and unique, his golden eyes are. I can feel my walls slowly breaking down into nothingness.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments.**

**Chapter One**

_"I will always care for you, even if we're not together and even if we're far, far away from each other."_

"He has made you into a shell, Clary. Can't you see? You were a pyramid, but when he came into the picture, you turned into merely a grain of sand. You were like the sun, burning an everlasting flame. I miss that fire; and I will do anything to get the old you back." He whispered in my ear, his voice soft, breathy, and husky.

He's sexy. _Beyond_ sexy. I can feel my butterflies having a dance party in my stomach, some crawling up to my heart and drumming against it, making it beat louder. Some going into my lungs, causing my breathing to become difficult. Why were my butterflies acting like this all of the sudden? Did Jace have some kind of remote control that forces my butterflies to do these strange things against my own will? If he does, I don't think I even mind.

He is now even closer to me. His nose, mere centimeters from mine. And then, the butterflies stop. They collapse. I have some serious concerns for my health. And my butterflies. I think he actually killed them all with his remote. Poor butterflies, I don't think they ever saw it coming. This boy is causing me some serious problems.

"I didn't know you liked me." I whispered back, since I cannot even think about raising my voice any higher with him this close to me. Maybe some of the butterflies broke my voice before they died.

I can feel him smile against my ear before pulling himself back. I'm getting slightly dizzy from his distance. I will give anything to have him be that close again. It made me feel wonderful, even better than with Sebastian. His hand softly grabs one of my curls, fingering through it. His eyes, staring at nothing besides his hand, gently cradling one of my curls. Then, he drops it immediately. My eyes can't focus on anything else than his own eyes, his wonderfully golden eyes. He isn't looking at my face yet, eyes still trained on my hair. What is so special about my hair? Maybe he is just trying to look anywhere than my face. I grab all of my courage and strength and slightly step back; this averts his eyes directly to mine.

I can see his eyes more clearly now. They are blinking, rather rapidly, diverting his eyes from one of mine to the other. Beautiful and unique, his golden eyes are. I can feel my walls slowly breaking down, about to turn into rubble. But his voice stops me.

"I don't like you. But, maybe I'll tell you the full story later. I just want, no, _need_ you to be careful around him. Just please, leave him. You will be doing yourself and everyone else around you a favor." He said. "We miss you. I, _I_ miss you."

He is still looking at me. Then, gradually, he kisses my left cheek, his lips lingering there for a few nanoseconds longer than necessary. My eyes flutter shut for a few seconds in the after affect, already missing the way his lips touched my cheek; soft and tender. Why has no one else's touch made my body act like this before? Is this some kind of sign? I can tell in his eyes he wants to say more, but it doesn't come. He turns around and walks back to the front door, grabbing his coat and opening the door. As he turns to shut the door, I see him wink, ever so slightly, and give a forced smile as his exits.

After he shuts the door, I can finally try to breathe again. I completely forgot how to breathe just a few moments ago. What had that visit been about? I knew everyone didn't like me being with Sebastian, but is it really that bad? I mean, sure he is a little controlling, but I didn't know it was changing myself. I guess it has been. I no longer have been sketching; I've been filling all my time to please him. There are a few things going through my mind right now, but the biggest distraction in my mind is one word.

Spoons.

Why on Earth, am I thinking about spoons? Why isn't my mind centering on Jace, or Sebastian, like any other normal girls' would have been? After that conversation though, I can only think about spoons.

Maybe I want to be spooning with Jace, or maybe I want to eat something with a spoon? Ice cream does sound really good right now.

I get up and walk into my kitchen, the whole deal with spoons finally getting to my stomach telling me I'm starving. Quickly, I make myself a bowl of Oreo ice cream and sit on the couch. I wonder what kind of ice cream Jace likes? He seems like a Rocky Road ice cream person, but I could be way off. He could in fact love rainbow sherbet ice cream... Sebastian likes plain vanilla. I've known Jace my entire life; I know each and every deep secret, but I don't even know what his favorite flavor is? Maybe cause every time we go to the ice cream parlor he gets a different flavor. When we were kids he loved chocolate. Once, he was eating the chocolate ice cream off the cone very messily and managed to get it all over his face. Does he still like chocolate?

Now that I finally have some food in me, I can start thinking about the conversation I had with Jace. It was weird, and not a normal conversation we would have. I mean, I have always been his little sisters' friend, but then as we grew older, we started becoming best friends, so why would he start telling me to break up with Sebastian? Was he, _jealous_? No! Of course he isn't. Jace is, so godly. He's so captivating, irresistible. Every time he walks into a room, everyone looks his way. He can make girls swoon with just a wink of his eye. He is just so miraculous that anything and _everything_ he does, he makes it into a work of beautiful art.

I on the other hand, am so ordinary. The only reason someone would ever glance my way would be because of my electric red hair; it looks like I'm a walking carrot. I'm too short, too many freckles on the bridge of my nose, too bright green eyes, too naïve for my own good, and too stubborn; there is always something the matter with me. But, when I am with Jace, I feel different. It's a good different. I feel more, more _special_. As I'm sitting on the couch in my living room, I start to think of the memories I have had with Jace.

I remember the time he took Izzy and I to the water park and I was so scared of water slides back then that he promised he would hold me tight on the slides. We first went on the shortest and least scary ride for my sake, and he kept his promise. I felt like I fit so perfectly in his body. My head neatly tucked under his chin, my waist small enough for him to hug me even closer to his body. I remember I only let him ride with me that whole day and every time after. Every time we go to the water park, I grab his hand and we go on every ride, him laughing behind me but still allowing me to drag him.

I think of the time when the whole group went out for a crazy hike where we had to go four wheeling in the beginning. We all had to go with buddies; Simon was with Izzy, Alec with Magnus, Jordan with Maia, and Sebastian lastly with his cousin Aline; that left me with Jace. I was so worried that he wouldn't want to ride with me, that he would change places with Seb so he could sit with Aline instead of me, but that all changed once I looked at his face. He looked so happy. He literally pulled me over to the four wheel, and snuggled me up behind him, making sure my helmet was on correctly and fastening my hands around his waist. Once it got too difficult for us to continuing four wheeling, we had to walk from there on. The whole hike he was beside me, holding my hand, helping me over the rocks, pointing to all the wildlife, telling me what would become a beautiful sketch and so on. Then, we finally reached the spring. After quickly striping off my clothing and jumping in, I saw him staring at me with this strange look on him. When he concluded that he was staring at me, he looked up to my eyes and gave me a goofy smile and jumped in. At the spring, we had one of those 'chicken fights' going on.

"Be my partner in winning?" I remember him asking me.

"Only if you promise we win every time." I said with a smirk.

The whole group and I spent the entire afternoon playing and splashing in the water and having a blast. Life could not have been more fun.

Ice skating has been one of my favorite times when I am with Jace. During the winter, it would either be the whole group, or just the two of us. I'm clumsy even with my own two feet, so you can only imagine how clumsy I am with skates on! I have Jace's hand in a death grip every time we were on the ice, completely afraid and _knowing_ that I will fall over way too many times that I am going lose count. One time he actually fell down with me; we became a tangle of arms and legs, him falling right on top of me. Our faces were so close, so _deliciously_ close. I wanted to kiss him. I could see in his eyes he wanted to kiss me too, at least that's what I hoped he wanted to do too. His lips parted ever so slightly. They look so soft, so kissable. I was frozen though, not at all knowing what to do. Our faces slowly started to come closer until we heard a shout.

"Get up man! You can kiss your girlfriend later, just not lying on the ice." That quickly brought him right back to reality. He quickly jerked up, straightening himself up again. My body quickly missed the warmth he was bringing to me; I want him to kiss me. He looked back down at my still in shock body and stuck out his hand for me to grab. A hand is the best I'm going to get. We didn't talk to each other for the rest of the day. Jace was still polite, but we didn't even speak. It was strange, having him just arm's length away from me, but not being able to reach for him; not completely.

Winter Formal is a big thing for freshman, as it was to me. I doubted that I was going to be asked to be someone's date, but I was still very excited to go. I mostly wanted to get the scene in my head so it could become a drawing. I wanted to see if it was cheesy and alive like all the books said it was. I remember picking out the dress with Izzy and Maia; shopping in general is a bother to me, so you can imagine how hard it was to go actual shopping for a formal dress that I would _actually_ have to wear. I went with a deep dark, but somewhat bright, floor length purple dress. It had a sweetheart neckline and flowy rose lace sleeves covering my shoulders. The dress was fairly tight fitting on the top, but flowed out smoothly towards the bottom. There were occasional sparkles on the sleeves and towards the bottom of the dress. It was the first dress I ever loved.

Just after I bought my dress, Jace left me a message that he needs to have a 'very top-secret and very important meeting' with me. I laughed when I saw the message and we drove back to Izzy's house, where Jace wanted to meet me for our 'meeting'. I had the bag with my dress in it hanging off of my shoulder as I made my way to his bedroom. I don't think I will ever get over the fact that he is a teenage boy, and his bedroom looks like a hospital; everything precise and exactly where it should be, no dust in sight. As I walked into his bedroom, I saw him there, in the middle of the room on one knee with a piece of paper that simply said, '_You're going to the Winter Formal with me. No exceptions._'

At the night of the Formal, more like in the afternoon, Izzy had called me over to begin her 'transformation'. When I walked into their house Izzy came running up to me grabbing the bag with my dress in it and my hand. As she was pulling me to her room, I heard Jace yell. "Don't make her look slutty! I want her to look like herself tonight!" I think my cheeks were permanently red after that. But, Izzy followed mines and Jace's decision. She did a very light amount of makeup, only foundation, a thin layer of eyeliner, mascara, and a hint of lip gloss; _very_ light in Izzy's opinion. Coming down the stairs all dolled up; I caught sight of Jace before he saw me. He was in an all-black tux, even his undershirt and tie were black. I saw what was peeking out of his front coat pocket, clary sage. When Izzy started to click-clack her way down the stairs, did he finally look up. I remember his eyes slowly raking up my body, taking in every single detail. As I made my way down the stairs, my eyes never strayed away from his. When he handed me my corsage, I couldn't help but smile brighter. The corsage was absolutely breathtaking. It was simple yet elegant, white lilies with clary sage hidden within the flowers.

At the dance, I was always by Jace's side. He would send glares to the other girls who looked clearly jealous of me, scare off any of the other boys and so on. He has always this protective over me, so I deemed it normal. We danced almost every single song, laughing and joking around; trying to find out when someone would spike the punch, pointing out all the sluts, and running around the gym like little kids. There is a park near our school, so we walked over there, very bored with the crappy decorations and people. We walked side by side; I was holding my heels in one hand, and the other grasped Jaces'. We sat on the swings, talking about anything, until Izzy came screaming that she was tired and wanted to go home. I will remember that night forever.

Laser tag; one of mine and Jace's favorite activities known to man-kind. I can't tell if I prefer when Jace is on my team, or if we are opponents. When we are teammates, he sacrifices himself to save me from blasts from the other team, and if we were opponents, he would be chasing me the entire time, completely oblivious to everyone else. One time when we were teammates, Simon decided to ambush both Jace and I. Simon was just about to blast me first, when Jace came in his range of fire, also shooting Simon. Jace made this whole show about having a dramatic death, even telling me his last words.

"Clary, I won't be alive much longer, so I better say it now. I love you, and I will love you until I die and if there is a life after this when I am dead, I will wait for you and still love you then. I'm sorry we didn't have more time togeth-"And he fake died.

"Jace," I whispered, getting close to his face. "You know Simon didn't actually shoot you, right?"

"SERIOUSLY!? THAT WHOLE SPEECH I PLANNED FOR YOU WAS WASTED FOR NOTHING?" Dramatic Jace, very _dramatic_.

I can't help but smile at the times we went on road trips. It would be my best friends, before we met Sebastian and Aline, going on strange trips to nowhere in particular, just driving until there was no road left. Normally Jace would be driving his dad's giant van for the trips, when we had more people coming, so it was normal that I would always have shotgun, riding along side with him. Occasionally, he would reach over the center console and grab my hand, making sure our fingers are laced tightly together. It would happen on more than one occasion. Whether he was grabbing my hand after a joke someone told, or during a love song. When 'our song' came on, he would turn to look at me, interlocking our fingers together, and singing along with the song, a goofy grin covering his face. Sometimes, I would stare at Jace-marvel about his beauty I mean-and study him. He is exactly what every artist would want for a model. I would be too lost in my world to notice that he would catch me staring at him, and give me a wink. I would blush like crazy; even the simplest things he did in his life, he did it with grace. He was so beautiful.

On most of the road trips, we would go to the Lightwood summer house on the beach. We would build sandcastles, splash in the water, throw beach balls around, and nap together in the sun. When everyone was asleep, Jace and I would play board games, watch sappy romance movies, and build forts. Most nights at the cabin, we would sneak into each other's room and cuddle, talking about everything and nothing until we fell asleep. Those were the nights I spelt the best, safe and protected in Jace's arms. I remember the time that the whole gang took another crazy, wild adventure which included: snow mobiles, cabin, hot chocolate, pillow fight, s'mores, and an intense game of 'Truth or Dare.'

My mind goes back to one day I was in a terrible mood; yelling and lashing out to everyone. I don't even know what caused me to be in such an awful mood, intense PMSing most likely, but it was bad. Everyone gave up after a few hours, hoping I would just cool down if I was alone, but not everyone left me alone. I had one lone survivor who will never stop until I am in a better mood; Jace. After bring giant homemade chocolate chip cookies up in my room, he started _Operation Get Clary Normal Again_, or _Code Normalness_. I remember begrudgingly taking the cookie and stuffing it into my mouth, allowing the crumbs to fall from my attack. I was currently glaring at my wall when the voice of an angel broke my concentration.

_"I love you, always forever. Near and far, closer together. Everywhere, I will be with you, everything, I will do for you. I love you, always forever. Near and far, closer together. Everywhere, I will be with you, everything, I will do for you."_

It was so cheesy, but I was, and still am, so stubborn, I wouldn't even let the song get me out of a bad mood. I remember Jace smiling at my pigheadedness and saying, "Well then. I guess I'll have to bring out the big guns." My eyes opened in fear, knowing that if he even sung the first line, I would no longer be in a bad mood.

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take, my sunshine away."_

I felt my walls crumbling. I remember Jace slowly scooting over towards me on the bed, bringing his arms around me, holding me safely in his arms; I didn't even bother pushing him away, finally letting the song get to me. I closed my eyes as he softly sung.

_"The other night dear, while I lay sleeping. I dreamt I held you in my arms. But when I awoke dear, I was mistaken. So I laid, my head down and cried."_

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take, my sunshine away."_

I remember one time Jace took me to the aquarium. I loved looking at the fishes, and I barely paid him any attention. I would grab his hand and drag him to all the exhibits, not caring how childish I looked. When we were looking at the seahorses, I looked back and saw Jace simply smiling at me. His eyes and smile were so loving and caring; I felt like this is what it feels like to be in love, to feel like you're with someone important and special in your life. He didn't care when I forced him to pose for pictures with me or anything. He stayed with me the entire day, watching me watch the sea creatures. After we walked through the aquarium twice, we walked into the gift shop, laughing and playing with the stuffed animals. I looked at the jewelry they had displayed, but mostly gaped at this very simple necklace they had. It was small green and blue seahorse, barely the size of the tip of your finger. Right when I looked at the price tag I dismissed the idea of having it, but apparently Jace saw me admiring at it. I tried as hard as I could to tempt him that I didn't need the necklace, but he quickly ignored me while grabbing his wallet and buying it for me. When he had the necklace in his hands, he made me turn around so he could put it on me. I felt goose bumps travel all the way up my arms when his hand brushed against the back of my neck to move my hair away. I shivered a little when I felt the cold metal wrap around my neck. His fingers lingered a little longer before he turned me back around allowing him to see the necklace.

"Beautiful." He breathed out. Let's just say, I _really_ wanted to kiss him then.

I think back in middle school, Jace was going through some issues and kept to himself for too long, and he cracked. Unfortunately, he let out the monster on me. It started out with him crying in my lap, hugging my waist tight; then he would start to yell. He would yell and started to throw random objects from around the room. Jace yelled at me to get out, which I obliged. I was scared, but I knew he needed some space. The next day at school, I arrived early so I wouldn't miss him. When he came out of the bus, I instantly ran over to him and hugged him. He was tense at first, as if he expected me to run away from him. When he responded by hugging me back, I whispered something to him that I have never forgotten.

"I'll never leave you."

My mind goes back to the times when the whole gang would go out to the movies and dinner. He would always sit next to me in the theatre and allow me to lay my head on his shoulder. Always put his arm around me and rest his hand on my shoulder, occasionally rubbing it. When we get to the restaurant, we could kick each other from under the table and steal each other's food and drink.

I thought back to the time we all went bowling. I could not, and still cannot, bowl back then, so he helped me the entire time. He would come up behind me, his hand entwining with mine, helping me swing the ball back. I remember feeling his minty breath on my neck. Every time I hit one of the pins, he would celebrate along with me, hugging me, lifting me off the ground and spinning me in a circle; my arms around his neck, knees bent. When it wasn't either of our turns, he would go get us drinks and food. He would feed me French fries and steal sips out of my drink. I thought it was just normal for people to act like that back then but, it wasn't.

Oh no.

I can't-

It must be some kind of mistake!

It isn't.

I am in love with Jace Herondale.

**A/N: Editing all my chapters, and re-uploading them.**


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N: Okay, so I have had this story on my laptop for a while, and I thought I would actually get around and start publishing it. This story is purely romance, something I don't really know about so bear with me, there won't be any 'creepy stalker' or anything really like that. The characters may be a little OOC because this is an AU, and this chapter is a little weird because while I was writing it I was just in a strange mood, but seriously, bear with me guys. I think that's it... Review, favorite, follow, do all the stuff that makes me smile:)**

**DISCLAIMER! I do not own The Mortal Instruments, then that would mean I would own Jace, in which he would be in my bed, not in this fanfic. Sad, sad.**

**Chapter Two**

_I'm done caring for you. You're not even worth it. You're just a liar, and I fell for your act. I deserve SO much better than you. I've realized how much happier, I am without you._

I am _so_ in love with him, I couldn't even _see_ it! All the times I flirted back at him, the times I would sneak glances at him, when I told him my deepest secrets… I am in love with him. Every time he walks into the room, I feel my heart beating out my chest. When he would touch me in any way, or get too close to my personal bubble, I would feel my breath start to hitch.

I drop my bowl of ice cream.

"_Crumbles_!" I yell to no one in particular.

Good thing it was only a plastic bowl this time otherwise, this would be a terrible mess. I am a total mess. I have more issues than _National Geographic_. On a different occasion, I would have laughed until I wet my pants but, it is true. I need to get away from Sebastian. I am not living up to my expectations. I have changed for the worse. No longer am I strong and carefree, I am dissolving and worried. This has to stop now. I can't even draw anymore, and that is my only relaxation in the world! (Other than Jace I guess...) I no longer hang out with the gang, my grades have dropped, and I have been obsessed with pleasing Sebastian, that I no longer please myself.

I reach out for my phone.

But I pause.

What if once I break up with Sebastian, there will be no one there for me? What if I have changed so much, that the gang no longer wants me to be a part of them? A sharp sob escapes my lips. I'm crying? I reach up to touch my cheeks and indeed, they are soaked with tears. Why am I crying? I don't feel sad, at least not _that_ sad. Tears of happiness? The memories. I was thinking of Jace and all the times I spent with him. Every single little moment, every glance, every chat on the phone, everything. Maybe I'm crying because I have finally come to the conclusion that I am deeply in love with Jace?

I finally grab my phone; I need a friend right now.

One ring.

Two rings.

"I thought you were dead."

I laugh even though the situation I'm in isn't funny. "Well it's nice to hear from you too, Izzy."

"No I'm serious. We all thought that you fell off the face of the earth. What's going on? How has your "love life" been?" She's teasing me, I can tell. But, I can hear in her voice that she doesn't like Sebastian.

A small sob escapes me once more. "That's why I need you. Can you," I pause. Maybe I'm asking too much from her… What if she doesn't want to come over? That's _ridiculous_! She's my best girl friend. "Can you come over? Please. I need, I need someone right now."

"Three minutes. Hang in there for three minutes then you can let it all out. Three minutes." This is why she's my friend.

"Bye."

I just have to hold it in for three minutes. I unlock the door and put the bowl into the sink. While I'm washing the dishes from today, I look at the spoon.

Curse you spoon.

I hear the door bang open and slam shut, and before I know it, I'm in Izzy's arms. Without hesitation, I wrap my arms around her tiny waist. How does she have a skinnier waist than me? I actually like my not-so-curvy body; it doesn't get me too many looks from people. We stand there for a while, her rubbing my hair softly, swaying us slightly, but no tears have leaked out of my eyes.

I break the silence. "I think I'm in love with your brother."

"Ew. You know Alec is gay right? And has a boyfriend too, might I add. Wait, you know that already, and it couldn't be Max, he's _too_ young for you, so you must be meaning…" She gasps very loudly and pulls me back so she can look at my face properly. Once she concludes that I am indeed, not lying, she begins freaking out. "JACE!? By the angel, I knew this would happen! I just _knew_ it! I knew all that sexual tension would finally get into your head. You know, the whole group has been planning both of your guys' wedding. It is going to _spectacular_! But wait, we have a block in the road."

"Sebastian." We both say at the same time. We do this all the time, know exactly what the other is saying and saying it at the exact time as the other.

"Oh girl. He has _got_ to go!" She sassily puts her hands on her hips. I finally get a good look at her; she's in sweat pants, not her tight yoga pants, and one of Simon's gamer tees. Ooh lala. Someone else has found out that they are attracted to a certain someone.

I grab the hem of the shirt and she blushes profusely. "I know. I just, need the courage to do it." I sigh. I really need more ice cream right now.

"What is Jace's favorite ice cream now?" I ask suddenly, shocking myself also.

"Uh, rocky road, I think… Why? You have a sudden desire to know his favorite flavor?" Hah! I was right! "Clary, you have to break up with him now. Then, you have to tell Jace your secret desires to cover him in rock road ice cream and lick it off him. I mean, he already is head over heels for you. But, you have to say it before it's too late. It's already a few years overdue."

She's right. Wait. "Jace likes me?" I ask tentatively. He can't be. He just told me earlier that he doesn't. Why is Izzy making it sound like he likes me back? I don't like him though. The butterflies in my stomach, the short breaths while he's near, the jumpiness, the flirtatious conversations, that could only mean the I am not in fact feeling likeness; it's love.

"You didn't know?" She gives me a puzzle expression as she looks over my face, yet again. Her mouth forms into a little 'o'. "Dang. You really are clueless, aren't you?"

"Shut up." I childishly stick out my tongue at her and walk back to the couch, to only have her join me a few seconds later. Izzy grabs my phone and hands it to me. I'm staring at the phone in my hand.

"Do you," Deep breaths Clary, deep breaths. "Do you still want to be my friend? Even after all I have done?"

Izzy stares at me like I have grown three heads. "What? Of course Clary! You think we would let you go that quickly? Never."

"Isn't breaking up over the phone like, a terrible way _to_ breakup?" I ask. I didn't _really _want to break up with him over the phone; he would get pretty pissed if I did.

"There is no other way for you to break up with him. If you went down to see him, you would completely change your mind!" Okay, _maybe_ she was right about that. He still has that small effect on me, making me forget everything I was going to say. Isabelle's right. This _is_ the only way for me to break up with him, whether he likes it or not, this is for me.

I pick up the phone and stare at his contact info. '_Seb 3 3' _Dang, I was a desperate girlfriend. How will I break up with him, though? Do I still want to be friends with him afterwards? Not really… Plus, don't guys hate the whole, 'Well, we could still be friends.' That's not me. What if I start with the, 'Listen, you're a really great guy but…' Nope. Still not me.

"What are you waiting for? Go for it." Izzy says to me.

"I'm thinking of the best way to break up with him. This takes a lot of work, you know?" It is a lot of work. I have no idea what to say! And, if I just try to wing it, I won't even break up with him! I might even accidentally schedule another date! Battle plan. Think Clary, think!

"It's easy. Just say, "Sebastian, we aren't working out. I don't know if you noticed, but I've changed a lot. I no longer am seeing my _best friends in the entire world _anymore. I'm sorry for doing this over the phone, but this is the only way. SINGLENESS ROCKS!' See? Simple."

"Singleness rocks? How would you even know about being single? You're obviously with Simon now, which by the way took you long enough!" I tease her. She starts to blush like crazy and murmurs profanities at me, but motions for my phone. Deep breath. Here we go.

"Hey baby." Sebastian says to me over the phone. Isabelle grabs my phone and puts it on speaker.

"Hey Sebastian… I need to talk to you." I looks over at Izzy to see if I'm saying the right thing, which she responds by thumbs up.

"Why so serious, babe? I haven't done anything, have I?" Now it's time. Urgh. I really don't want to do this. I always hated to be the person who drops the news. No turning back though. Deep breath. In out, in out, in-

"Actually, I think we need to break up." Silence. Hurry up and say it, Clary! "I just don't think it's really working out anymore. You're a great guy and all, but I just fee-"

"It's because of Herondale, isn't it?" Oh no…

"Kind of, but it's mostly about me. I haven't even seen my friends since we started dating and I've bee-"

"Save it. I guess we're over. Bye Clary." He clicks off.

I look over at Izzy, and we're thinking the exact same thing.

"Pizza."

o.O.o

Izzy and I have been watching T.V and eating pizza ever since the phone call with Sebastian. This is normal for us, but the reason why, is not by any means normal. Right now we are watching a very 'dramatic' reality show where every other word that comes out of their mouths is _freaking_. It is getting quite annoying, but we are too lazy to reach over three inches to grab the T.V remote. My phone keeps on vibrating, from whom? I do not know; I am too lazy to reach over and grab it which is six feet away. That's hard work after all I have done!

"When are you going to face lover boy?" Izzy asks me right in the middle of another dude saying _freaking_.

"Possibly at school tomorrow. Why? Should I do it sooner?" I want popcorn. Like, _really_ bad.

"Nope. I think that's good. Want me to tell him?"

Popcorn…

"Nah, I think I can do it."

_POPCORN!_

o.O.o

_BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP!_ I am going to murder that alarm clock. And I won't even be sorry about it. I will enjoy watching myself tear out each and every screw and watch it bur-

"Clary! You have to wake up sis!" You are lucky this time, alarm clock. Next time you won't be so lucky. I'll be watching you. You won't make it to wake me up tomorrow.

_By the Angel_. I am going to tell Jace today that I love him. Oh. My. Sweet. Goodness. Breathe Clary, just breathe. In out, in out, in out, in-

_I HAVE TO TELL JACE HERONDALE THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM! _

Dress to impress. Dress to impre- I have nothing to impress him with. I look through my closet, trying to find _anything_ impress-worthy. This is an emergency!

_Brrring! Brrring! Brrring!_

"Hello?" Why did I not look at the screen to see who it is! I am so stupid sometimes, it's quite hilarious.

"You locked the door. Also, I bring clothes. You know, for the whole 'Jace' thing." My _savior_!

"Under the mat, Iz." Brush, brush, brush… Where is my brush?

"Oh right… I knew that." Sure you did Izzy, sure you did. I hear someone fiddling around with the lock and then the door bang open, then slam shut. I hear Izzy run up the stairs and then open my door. She looks crazy; carrying her normal school bag and then a giant duffle bag over filling with clothes.

"Oh no…" I say.

"Oh yes." Izzy winks.

Save. Me.

**Review, favourite, follow, all that jazz :) **


	3. Chapter Three

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Mortal Instruments. My name is Emily, not Cassandra. Plus, Jace would be in my bed, or playing the piano for me.**

**A/N: Okay... So this chapter is a little shorter, because I felt that this is where I needed to stop off at, but, there's ANGST! Muahaha! But do you want to know what sucks...? I haven't really mentioned Magnus.. Never mind, I have inspiration, cause I've been stuck on this one part. And also! So I wake up from a crummy night sleep, and what do I see? Six reviews looking back at me! :) Made me smile.**

**Eyes on Fire17: Technically, it was from Jackie Kennedy when JFK died, but yes. I really like listening to Lana Del Rey while writing, and that is what was playing:) So glad you caught that little part!**

**itsHerondale: That is a good question! Honestly, I didn't really think of that, I was just typing! I think it's going to be Jace, Clary and Izzy in Junior(cliche, I know) and then Alec, Magnus, Simon, Jonathon, and Sebastian in Senior. Is that okay with you guys?**

**xoxoFreeSpiritxoxo: Thank you so much! Been working hard on it:)**

**riley207: Not really... It's more of my really weird jokes that I put on paper.. Or keyboard.. What-the-heck-evs**

**OneoftheNephilim: Not discontinuing the story, lass!(or lad...) I like it too much!**

**Chapter Three**

_You broke my heart, but I still love you with all the broken pieces._

Half an hour later, I look acceptable. Izzy followed my instructions of makeup on wanting to look natural, wanting to look like I'm not trying that hard. My hair is down in elegant curls, tight black skinny jeans with knee high combat boots; I had a plain white t-shirt with a sleeveless, dark jean jacket. Overall, I looked like a biker chick. I kind of looked-

"Sexy. I did well." Izzy was standing back, looking me over while I was admiring myself in the mirror.

It's go time.

.o.O.o.

Izzy and I drive to school in her car, making sure to turn the radio up to the highest level. While singing the songs, I'm thinking how I want to tell Jace. I could start by just telling him I broke up with Sebastian, but he might just think that is all I have to say to him; but I have so much to say to him. I could run through the halls and kiss him in front of everyone… I might just do that, but what if he doesn't respond? Or what if he is repulsed by it? Jace was my first kiss though, and he didn't pull away, he was actually the one who started it. It was when we were in middle school and the whole gang invited a ton of people to come over, it wasn't necessarily a party, but it was fun, so we all decided to play truth or dare. Jace was dared to kiss anybody who was playing, on the lips for a whole minute. As you can imagine, girls started to giggle and 'prepared' for when he would kiss them. I was not at all prepared for him to look at me and wiggle his eyebrows before coming over to me.

He moved his mouth right by my ear, "This is my first kiss, you know? And I know for sure that it is yours, but I feel much honored for you to be my first and I, to be yours." Goosebumps spread up my arm like a wild fire, but the kiss was unexplainable.

"We're here, and you spaced out that entire ride." Izzy says, snapping me out of my reverie. "Jace just went through the doors; go fetch, pup."

And fetch I did. I quickly thanked Izzy, grabbed my bag, and ran to the doors. I slowed down once I got to the doors, mentally preparing myself, and also kind of waiting for Izzy. She had this sort of confidence that was in the air when she was near. I take a deep breath and walk through the doors. I'm on my tiptoes, searching for a golden blob while I walk over to his locker. Finally! I see Jace's head right by his locker, I start walking a little faster, and then I stop altogether. Jace isn't alone.

His lips are locked with none other than Kaelie Fey.

You know when people say in these situations, people say they just feel a wave of emotions coming over them like a hurricane? Well, they're wrong.

I feel absolutely nothing.

Not a single feeling is coming up. I feel, empty. Like, all my emotion and thoughts are completely washed out of my body. I don't feel heartbreak, I don't feel anger, sadness, rejection, nothing. I am _empty_. I am simply standing in a hallway, filled with kids bumping against me, ignoring me. I can't hear the kids yell at their friends, I can't feel when people brush their shoulder against mine, I can't feel _anything_. I don't hear Izzy's heels clicking up next to me, wondering why I stopped. I don't even hear her gasp. I can't hear myself breathing.

Am I breathing?

"JONATHON CHRISTOPHER HERONDALE!" That's what snapped me out, but I still can't feel anything. Not one. Single. Thing.

I see him clearly sigh with annoyance about Izzy using his full name, but he turns around to face his adoptive sister. His face before he sees me is annoyance, but right after his eyes glance at Izzy, he registers that she is not alone. The phrase, 'Caught with a hand in the cookie jar' is an understatement of how he looked. He breathes in a sharp gasp through his teeth as he sees me. My face is blank, no emotions peeking through the corners; I am utterly _destroyed_.

"Clary?" He asks. There are so many reactions racing across his face and eyes, unlike me. He tries to walk over to me, but I can't even move.

But I force myself to walk forward, to walk to class, act normal, but I know I will never be normal ever again.

"Goodbye, Jace." Saying goodbye has many meanings to it. It could simply mean, 'I'll see you later!' or just a friendly way of saying farewell to a friend that's you won't see for a while. But I did not mean either. My words were completely emotionless, robotic. I was saying goodbye, _forever_.

His face broke even more. "I'll see you after school?" He yells after me, his words hold desperation deep within.

My step falters. I slowly turn so I can look at Jace again; I can barely look him in the eyes, but I have to for what I must say.

"No." I say, then go back to walking to class.

I walk through the hallway, oblivious to everyone surrounding the hall, watching our little show. I can't even cry I am so emotionless. I just have to go through all my classes, I can't skip, knowing how my mother would react, plus, where could I go? I couldn't go back to Izzy's because it has too many memories with Jace in it; I can't go to Simon's, he would never skip school no matter how much of an emergency it is; I can't go home, knowing that my mother would have a fit, I have nowhere to go. So I stay at school, not paying attention to anyone or anything, not eating, not talking, not listening, and not living.

School has finally ended. Six hours of me not responding, not talking, not doing anything. I'm pretty sure the teachers know something is up with me, but thankfully they didn't question me. I am currently walking through the halls once again, eyes glassy, and lips in a straight line, heading towards the parking lot. I know I am going to walk home today, I can't be around anymore people today; maybe I'll even go to a park. I don't want to see anyone today; I don't want to be asked questions, nothing. What's the point in asking someone, 'Are you okay?' when they clearly aren't? It's like asking if the sun is bright.

I don't turn when I hear Izzy yelling my name, chasing after me. I don't hear my older brother, Jonathon asking her if I am okay. I don't hear Simon yelling at me to stop. I don't hear the other kids asking each other what's going on. I don't hear them telling the story of what happened in the hallway, with a few twists in the story. I don't hear cars start, itching to get out of school. I don't hear Kaelie's snickers from her group. I don't hear anything. I don't turn for anything. I don't stop for anything. I don't do anything, except walk.

**Hope you enjoyed:)**

**Review, favourite, follow, all that stuff that makes me happy!**

**Loves,**

**OnlyOneToBlame :)**


	4. Chapter Four

**A/N: Okay, I love the reviews guys! They are the best! But I have a quick question, I'm thinking of changing the summary, it kinda sucks in my opinion. Your guys thoughts? **

**brittanyelwise: I loved your long review! So to answer your questions, for the memories she had(which one was your favorite?) they were stuff that I either did with family, or friends, or what I imagine doing. I think a couple of them were what my mum did for group dates, honestly, I just made them romantic-like. And for them getting back together... Sorry babe. It's going to be a while 'til they 'actually' get together. In my opinion, Clary is very stubborn and a little selfish(NO HATE!) so I'm trying to keep that. And for ages, I am homeschooled, I don't go to highschool so honestly I have no idea what they have there, you can be my little help on that;) **

**KyKat: These are just my opinions on how Clary is in the book. If I was actually writing this as a real story, she would be a lot stronger, and not so stubborn, but yes, her reaction is unfair, but then again, we are teenagers. We make a big deal out of everything.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments, unless you count the copies in my bookshelf. **

_You know you're in love when, they are your final thought before you sleep, and your first thought, when you wake up._

_You know you're in love when, you put their needs and wants before your own._

_You know you're in love when, their happiness is more important than your pain._

_You know you're in love when, you don't mind making compromises for them._

_You know you're in love when, all you want to do is hear their voice._

_You know you're in love when, all you want to do is touch their skin._

_You know you're in love when, your planning your future, and there in it._

_But not everyone can make it work, no matter how strong the love is._

_You know you're in love when, you realize things just are not going to work out, and you still want them in your life in some way, shape, or form._

_You know you're still in love when, you realize they don't feel the same way about you, and you still stick around them, and be the best that you can be._

_But nothing last forever._

_Love has a tendency to fade, and the spark is lost._

_You know you were in love, when you still think about them every now and then, long after your love has been laid to rest._

o.O.o

I have been sitting on a park bench for the last two hours. I have not moved, I have not blinked, and I have not done anything. It feels quite silly actually. In stories they say how the girls could not stop crying and so on, when I can't even force myself to cry. Maybe the reason why I can't cry is because, I knew this would happen. I just knew deep down that I would get my heartbroken, but hearts aren't meant to be shattered; they are supposed to be caressed and loved. Maybe we were better off being friends, better off if I didn't fall in love with him. But it's too late now. I've lost him. And while losing him, I lost a bit of myself too. He was one my best friends, the one I could always go to in my time of need. He's the one where I confided in him all my deepest secrets, my worries, my ideas. He helped me in so many ways. There was never a time when he wasn't there for me. He is why I try so hard. Most kids try hard in school and activities to impress their parents and siblings, but I tried so hard so I could impress Jace. He's the kind of person you would always want to be; smart, cocky, athletic, beautiful, kind to the ones that matter, protective, captivating, hilarious, and just, _Jace_. He walked with confidence, with a purpose. He was my Jace; my everything.

And now he's not.

Because I had to be a teenage girl and fall in love with him.

Stupid hormones.

Everything was going fine until yesterday, but when he visited me, I just knew something was going to change; that something was going to be different. It's funny how your life can change in just the matter of a day. You could have a new sibling in a day, and lose one in a day. You could fall in love one day, or you could get your heart broken. I have learned that humans like to complicate everything. We complicate love till the point that people never want to love ever again. I think the concept of love is actually quite simple, but us humans, are determined to make it extremely complex. We say that all boys are the same; they just want to get in our pants. They say all girls are the same; that we lie and are too emotional, that we expect too much out of the guys. So how do these help out in the form of love? It doesn't. This just makes people think love is the most vicious thing known to man-kind. That you are anchored when in a relationship. Maybe, being in love is just like they say it is in books; where you feel like you're flying. Where, you are so in love nothing else matters. Love should be the most beautiful thing in the world, not the most deadly.

I feel soft little tears roll down my face, like descending angels from above. Wow, this is the only thing I have really done since this morning in the hall-

A sob escapes my mouth.

Here it goes. This is what was supposed to happen today; I wasn't supposed to go to class, acting like a zombie, I was supposed to be in the bathroom crying my eyes out. I guess I'm late for everything. Just like I was late to get to Jace, just like I was late to tell him I loved him; I'm late. Very, very late. I lay down on my side on the park bench, hiding my face in my hands as the tears escape the prison of my eyes. I don't know how long I sit there, silently crying my eyes out, but I know I will get nowhere if I keep crying like this. I wipe the tears from my eyes and all the mascara smudges under my eyes and proceed to sit up. I'm wiping my nose on my sleeve, when I realize I have company.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just- You looked really sad, and then you started to- I'm sorry. I was just worried. I didn't mean to- I'm sorry." I looked up through my eyelashes and saw a very good-looking boy. Not as handsome as Jace- Stop, Clary! He has silver hair with silver eyes to match, and was dressed casually with a school bag hanging off of one shoulder.

"Oh, I'm fine. I just, got a little upset. That's it." I grab my bag and start to stand up. I don't know this person so I'm trying to get away. He could be a rapist for all I know!

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. I'm Jem, I go to your school and I kind of saw what happened." The silver-haired boy said.

He actually looks somewhat familiar, "Oh! You're best friends with Will right?" I've met Will a couple times, he was Jace's cousin, and Jem was always seemed to be lurking in his shadow.

"Yes, that's me." He smiles at me, then sits down next to me on the bench. "Sorry again with what happened with Jace. That wasn't very kind of him."

I smile over at Jem; he's so sweet, why is he always hiding behind egotistical Will? "Thanks again. He didn't know what I was going to say to him though, so I'm off the hook, unless Izzy yelled it at him earlier today." Oh crumbles! What if she did? I'm screwed, so _utterly_ screwed!

"She didn't as far as I could tell, only slapped him and his ego pretty hard." Yeah, I like Jem. "Uh… I could help you with the whole Jace problem. If you need someone to talk to, or if you want to make him jealous-"

"Jealous?" I interrupt. Would making Jace jealous help?

"Uhm, like, I could pretend to be your date or anything?" Oh no. Does he like me? As if he is reading my mind he responds, "I'm not into you, not that I don't think you're pretty," Aww… He stammers. So cute. "But, I'm actually trying to make a girl jealous…"

"Okay." I say without any hesitation.

"Wait. What? Okay? You'll do it?" Beyond cute; too bad I'm not into guys who look like the moon, instead I fall for the ones that look like the sun.

I nod. "Here, give me your phone. I'll put my digits in, then we can discuss our 'battle plan'. Then we can meet up at school and put our plan into action." I smile up at him. Why is everyone taller than me? No fair, no fair at _all_.

"It's a deal." He smirks at me; then he kisses my cheek. As if knowing that I would be confused, he whispers in my ear after the kiss, "I saw Jace hiding in the trees, that's why I walked over here." Oh, sly boy Jem, sly boy.

"Thank you." I whisper.

**Muahahahaha. So I changed Jem... Gah, I love him. And guys, what is your favorite memory that Clary and Jace had? Maybe I can do some one-shots of your favorite memories in more detail? Your thoughts?**

**REVIEW, FAVORITE, FOLLOW! **

**How about until I get six reviews, you will get a longer chapter or something else? Too much to ask for?**

**Loves,**

**OnlyOneToBlame :)**


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N: *Shoves Jace in front of myself to protect myself* I need an actual schedule to post chapters, it's not going to be every day like how it is now, I just get inspiration, so I write. Awww... I asked for just a few reviews and I received more than I asked for.. :) Super sweet guys! Now down to business. **

**Also, I already had the idea to put a little Jace P.O.V in this chapter (I know someone reviewed asking for that, way ahead of you, lass) so you have that:) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments, so screw off and read the freaking fanfic.**

**Chapter Five**

_After all the things you put me through, I can't help but still love you._

Jem and I text all night, thinking of our 'battle plan'. I have to admit, I really like Jem. He's an awesome guy, and whoever is on his mind, is a lucky girl. Our idea is for me to go to school earlier, and when he comes out of his car, I run up and give him a big hug, acting like we are a couple; maybe even kiss his cheek. Luckily, we have the same lunch period, and so will Jace and Tessa, who Jem is trying to make jealous. After school, we are going to drive in his car to go out on a 'date' which actually means trying to know each other better and discuss more of the plan.

While pulling on a dark blue sweater, I start thinking about our plan. What if it doesn't work? What if Jace actually never liked me from the start? Well then, why was he spying on me at the park? I swear, all Jace wants to do is confuse the heckle out of me. Are all boys this confusing? Well, Simon isn't, I could read him like a book. Jem doesn't seem too confusing either. Maybe it's just Jace that's confusing. I mean why can't he just-

_Brrriiing Brrriiing_!

My alarm starts going off, signaling that I have to leave for school now, if I want my plan to actually work.

_By the angel_… I actually have to do this. I race down the stairs, retrieving my backpack and a red apple before grabbing my keys and walking off to my car. Jumping into my Jeep, I started off to school. Turning up the radio, I hear an Ellie Goulding song, the one in the Divergent soundtrack, and I start to freak out and sing loudly with the song, daydreaming about sexy Tobias. As I was imagining Theo James without a shirt, I registered that I am finally at school. I guess time goes by fast when you are thinking about amazingly good-looking actors and their equally amazing characters shirtless. I hop out of the car and stand by the doors, waiting for Jem to show up. As I'm looking around, and seeing more cars come into the parking lot, I don't see Jace. I see Izzy's car drive up, but it's only her, Alec and Magnus in the car. Maybe he showed up in his own car-

_HONK! HONK!_

I shift my gaze to a four door blue Toyota truck, Jem's car. And he's not alone. Instead of Jem just coming out of his car, is also Will. But he's not who I am worried about.

It's Jace.

Coming out of the backseat, eyes searching for something or some_one_.

I'm dead.

But, I still have to go through with the plan. I shout Jem's name and start racing towards him. After hearing me yell, Jace snaps his head up to see me racing towards Jem.

While Jem and I are embracing I hiss in his ear, "Why did you not tell me he was going to be with you?"

"He sprung up on me. Don't blame me, babe." I started to giggle, for show, and it was pretty funny hearing Jem call me babe. Then I kissed him on the lips.

Not only did it shock Jem, but it made Will start to laugh and Jace to turn his head, completely angry; fists clenched and lips in a tight line.

"I'll see you later then, babe." I wink and start to walk away, swaying my hips a little more usual.

o.O.o

School so far has been going quite normally, expect for my jittering leg, always bouncing while I am sitting, which is the entire day. The bell rings, signaling that the class is over and that it is lunch; it is also signaling me that I have to keep going through with my plan. I put my textbook and notes into my backpack and slowly walk to the cafeteria.

In books, movies, so on, the people always say the food is absolutely disgusting and inedible; at Alicante High, it's actually pretty fine. I have had it a hand full of times in the past, but I either bring my own lunch or most likely share with Jace.

_Jace_-

Is right in front of me…

"Hey Clary." _By the angel_. Catch me, I think I might faint.

"Oh. Hi, Jace." I squeaked. I'm not nervous. Not nervous at all.

He glances down at his feet, while shuffling them side to side. Mark the day everyone. The day Jace Herondale is nervous; not like _I'm_ nervous… "So, I was wondering if we could talk about the other day-" Oh please no. Please, _please_ no, don't bring this up!

"Hey Clare-bear." A certain sparkly friend with a voice like bright yellow velvet. And his clothes are bright yellow velvet… With a blue glittery tank-top.

"Magnus!" I shriek out, a little too eager. He has saved me from embarrassment, on both Jace and I parts.

"Sparkles." Jace glares at Magnus, obviously displeased with the interruption. Is it so bad that I am thankful for Magnus intruding us when he did? Yeah, it probably is… "What are you doing? I'm trying to talk to Clary. _Alone_."

"But Jacey," Magnus whined while Jace and I cringed. "It looks to me like Clare-bear doesn't want to talk to you. It's either that, or I have been getting worse at reading people, which is my specialty. Why don't we ask her?"

Both their eyes swerve back to mine. "Uhm… Well." By the angel, I hate being the center of attention.

"Clary?" Jace pleads, with both his eyes and voice. I almost give in, but I have to be strong. Jace deserves this. Did he honestly think he could just ask me to break up with Sebastian, make me realize that I have freaking strong feelings for him, dress up and act like a total girl, lead me onto thinking that he likes me too, but then locking lips with the biggest slut Idris has ever known, without receiving a _little_ pain? Ha. Think again.

"Bye Jace." Okay, maybe it's a little cruel that I had to say the same words that I said yesterday, but I just have to remember that this is his fault. It's not fair to me. But his face… Focus Clary! I turn back to the cafeteria with Magnus still having his arm over my shoulder.

"He looks like someone just took his most special toy away from him, Clare." Manus said while sauntering up to our normal table.

"What? His ego?" I try joking around to lighten the air, and try to stop thinking about the pain in Jace's eyes. He is always so controlled over his emotions and has such a great facade, so maybe this is hurting him more than I thought…

"What about Jace's ego?" Izzy asks, suddenly interested. How-

"How do you know that they are talking about Jace's ego, Iz?" Simon inquires.

"Who else's ego is the size of Manhattan? Plus, what other ego would Clary be talking about." Magnus let's go of my shoulder to sit beside Alec and give him a quick peck on the cheek. Why can't I have a love like that? Not gay or anything, but with Jace. Ugh, I should be happy about Alec finally coming out of the closet (Hypothetically not literally) and admitting his relationship with Magnus, but I can't help but feel a little jealous.

"Well, Clary doesn't seem like she wants to talk about Jace, so why don't we ask her about her and Jem Carstairs?" Simon answers Izzy, which earns me the entire table staring at me. "Speaking of which, he's walking right to us."

I quickly turn around and see Jem walking over to me, a brown paper bag in his hand, with Will and Tessa right beside him. I look around the cafeteria quickly, but I see no sign of golden hair. Jem stands to my left and puts his right arm around my waist, kissing my hair. Butterflies? Nope. Darn you Jace for being the only one that makes my butterflies go insane. Jem, Will, Tessa, and I join the table which has Isabelle, Alec, Magnus, and Simon. Maia and Jordan are probably making out somewhere. Stupid love.

Chatter easily fills the table, but I am not paying any attention to it. My mind wanders into the abyss of entirely nothing in particular. It floats around, glancing at my memories like they are books on the shelf. And then I feel it.

I'm strumming my fingers onto the table in a familiar beat. Under my breath I start to sing.

_"Na na na na na na na na na na na na"_

Apparently Izzy heard me singing along to the song and decided to join in. She started to stomp her feet with the rhythm.

_"Na na na na na na na na na na na na_

_I guess I just lost my husband, I don't know where he went."_

And as you can imagine, that verse made everyone else on our table join in; stomping their feet, clapping along. But the only thing I didn't see while enjoying this, was a six foot tall boy, leaning against the cafeteria door, watching me.

**Jace P.O.V**

By the angel, how is she this beautiful? Just stomping along, singing to the music? Breath taking. Maybe I'm being a little sap, but in this moment, watching her smiling around and singing makes me forget all the hurtful things she said to me. Or the lack thereof.

_"So I'm going to drink my money, I'm not going to pay his rent._

_I got a brand new attitude and I'm going to wear it tonight."_

Yeah, on your date with Carstairs. By now, the entire cafeteria is stopping to listen to the crazy table, sing a crazy song, and dancing crazy. She looks so beautiful though. Her just skipping around the table, dancing with Izzy and Magnus. This is what I want in a girlfriend, (and future wife) someone who isn't afraid to show their real colours; someone who will just have fun with anyone.

_"I wanna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight._

_Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight,_

_Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight."_

Never mind about the entire cafeteria sitting around just watching them, now everyone is joining in on their singing and crazy dancing. But I can't bring myself to look at anybody else, only her. _Always_ her.

_"So, so what? I'm still a rock star! I got my rock moves, and I don't need you._

_And guess what? I'm having more fun! Now that we're done!_

_I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine._

_And you're a tool! So, so what? I am a rock star! I got my rock moves!_

_And I don't want you tonight!"_

No, no, _please no_, Clary! Please, I want you, I _need_ you! Tell me that you didn't pick this song because this is your 'message' or whatever to me. Tell me that you only picked it because it was just in your head and has nothing to do with the fact of what has been between us! Well, a guy can hope.

_"I guess I'll go sit with drum boy, and least he'll know how to hit."_

Freaking Pink and her stupid song.

_"What if this song's on the radio, then somebody's gonna die._

_ I'm gonna get in trouble, my ex will start a fight."_

Darn right I'm going to start a fight. I'll freaking break walls if anyone touches yo-

I can feel the blood pumping in my veins, my muscles clenching uncontrollably. James freaking Carstairs is dancing with _my_ Clary. But what if she never was mine? I always like to believe that she is mine, that we are the last to pieces in a puzzle. But oh, how I wish I was over there, dancing and having fun with her like we always do. What about all the fun times we had, do those mean nothing to her? How can she just pick me up for that long, string me along only to break my heart in a million pieces?

But in the hallway, she looked so heartbroken when Kaelie was kissing me. I can't even call it kissing; it was more of spreading saliva all over my face. She wouldn't even let me explain my side of the story. I mean, it wasn't my fault that Kaelie happened to be there right when I was fantasizing about Clary, and happened to kiss me right at the moment that the woman of my dreams was standing right by us. And then she's going on a date with Carstairs tonight… No, I will not be following them, I will just be observing so they (Clary) are safe and sound. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have been hopelessly in love with her since we were in first grade. Nope. Nothing to do with that.

I love her.

And now she doesn't want me.

Rejection totally sucks, especially when it is from the only person you want acceptance from.

**Clary P.O.V**

_"And I don't want you tonight!"_

After the cafeteria finishes singing, everyone starts to cheer and yell around, clearly having fun; but still no sign of blonde boy. Where could he be? Well, no time to ponder now; the bell rings, signaling that lunch is over, thank the angel that no teachers came into the cafeteria while singing otherwise that would have been crazy! I grab my bag, and give a quick hug to everyone at my table and walk to class.

.o.O.o.

Class is going by normally, but now I have to go to my Honors English class. With Jace. And it doesn't really help that we are learning about romance novels and stories.

Bite me.

And which famous love story are we doing? Nope, not _Romeo and Juliet._ Think harder.

Yup. _Pride and Prejudice_.

And it doesn't really help that Jace and I are the top students in this class because we love reading and discussing the stories with the teacher. And it doesn't also help because Jace and I are also the only ones who read the book before everyone else. Nope. Doesn't help.

I slowly walk to class, ignoring the kids who keep bumping into me. Walking into class, I sit in my normal seat in the middle row, because I like to be close to the board, but not too close. Also because this was my normal seat that I sat at with Jace.

Who is now sitting down next to me. A girl just can't catch a break, can she?

Guess not.

Thankfully he says nothing, but it feels like the air is just getting thicker and thicker with awkwardness. I'm serious, it is getting really _awkward_. Jace is tapping his fingers in a familiar beat… Oh crap. He heard me singing in the cafeteria; well of course he did! We weren't being necessarily quiet!

By the freaking angel, he smells so _delicious_. He smells like the sun just came down from heaven, and tenderly kissed each of his cheeks in a loving way, hoping to spread this wonderful smell with the rest of the world in hopes of everyone else reacting like I am.

"Uh, are you okay, Clary?" Oh crumbles! I've been leaning into him. My head is pretty much on his shoulder right now.

I quickly jerk it back, hoping his amazing smell won't get into my head and make me do crazy and stupid things again. "Fine."

Our teacher, Mr. Starkweather finally walks into the classroom, books falling out of his arms. "Okay class, today I want to know your interpretations on 'true love' and what it means to you."

Oh this is going to be fun…

**AAN: (Another Author Note)**

**:) Well, hi there. Review, favorite, follow, you know the drill. Also, question time!**

**Why did you start reading my little story? Was it because of the cover art, title, or summary? Or just because your freaking favorite authors AREN'T POSTING ANYMORE STORIES AND IF THEY ARE, THEY ARE TAKING FOREVER! Sorry. Another question,**

**What's your favorite finished/unfinished fanfic?**

**Loves,**

**OnlyOneToBlame :)**


	6. Chapter Six

**A/N: Sorry guys, life is busy! We all know that! Sorry it is short though... Figured it was better than nothing :P Nothing else to report... **

**Review(I literally love it and smile super bright when I see reviews, so keep 'em coming. Dirty mind...), Favorite, Follow:) Love you all!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter Six**

_If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe they are supposed to be there._

Jace stiffened next to me. Clearly he wasn't too happy about this also.

"Jace," Mr. Starkweather said. "Can you tell me your definition of 'true love'?"

He cleared his throat, and then began talking. "Well, it's what I hope to find, and I think everyone dreams of having true love. But, everyone always says that as teenagers, we don't 'understand love,' and 'we're too young.' I think that's ridiculous. I think that some people just put that into our brain. I wouldn't ever put an age limit on love. I think from the time we were little, we just naturally seek for love and affection. It starts with your mom, then it's your first pet, soon enough, it's other people. I think that there are two kinds of love though. Where you tell your parents you love them, and you do; but then, when you find the _one_, it's like the filling of a void. Like a piece you didn't even realize was missing until it's been filled." By the angel, Jace… "And you should love with all your heart, or not love at all." Jace finished.

"Good, very good! Now Jace, with Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennett fall in love through their differences, and their arguments by both their pride and their predisposition, but was there ever a chance that they were falling in love without realizing it? When they first met each other, was it love at first sight?" Mr. Starkweather asks, yet again.

"There's no such thing as love at first sight." I quickly interjected.

Mr. Starkweather looks at me strangely before answering. "How so, Clary?"

Oh crumbles, now I have to talk. "Well you see, what is the first thing you see in a person? Their looks. What if a beautiful woman was just standing over by the window, and you think that's she's beautiful, is that love? No. It's _lust_ at first sight. Although with Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth, I think they felt some sort of tug, drawing them to each other. I think that's why Jane Austen made them keep interfering with each other's lives, was because they had a special connection, even from the beginning. But it wasn't love at first sight for them, because it doesn't exist."

"Like Romeo and Juliet, that isn't love at first sight?" He inquires.

"That is the best example of lust at first sight; but we are talking about Pride and Prejudice, not Romeo and Juliet." I retort back.

"Very well then." Mr. Starkweather muses. "Everyone, start on your work sheet, it's due tomorrow."

Everyone starts pulling out the work sheet, and begins quietly. Jace nudges my arm with a pencil. With a glare from my part, he slides a piece of paper over to me. '_Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?'_ I roll my eyes, pursing my lips to silence a giggle threatening to break free.

Almost normal again.

.o.O.o.

The bell finally rings, telling us that school is finally over! I repack my bag for the umpteenth time that day, and head over to my locker. I hate bringing home all my school books, I just like to bring only one home then do the rest during the week; unless I have more than one project to finish by the end of the week. As I shut my locker door, I feel a presence right behind me. Turning around, a smile breaks through when I see Jem behind me, hands in pockets, backpack hanging off of one shoulder. So mother-freaking-adorable.

"Are you ready for our date?" No stuttering, he's on a roll!

"Yeah, but what should we do with my car? I brought it to school, and you brought people with you too." We start walking over to the parking lot while talking.

"Crap… I forgot about that. Maybe you can ask Simon to take your car home? And we can drop off Jace and Will before we go on our date." We reached the parking lot, and are almost to my car.

"Okay. I'll call him." I start to fish out my phone in my bag. "Just remember, when you want to go on a date with a girl right after school, you don't do it directly after school. Most girls like to 'freshen themselves up' before you come around. You also have to be in charge of thinking about rides." VICTORY! Location confirmed.

"Hey Si, can you drive my car home? I'll be your best friend." I do a little pouty lip, even though he can't see me.

"_Fine. May I ask why though?"_

"I'm going on a date. And THANK YOU! Keys will be in ignition." I quickly hang up before he can say anything, then turn to Jem and give him a thumb up, only to see he's not looking at me.

He's looking at sweet little (tall, but everyone is taller than me) Tessa.

"Come on lover boy, time to go." I put my keys in the car, and then we walk over to his. Jace and Will are already there; Will in passenger and Jace in backseat. I'm going to have to sit in the back with Jace.

While dropping him off so I can go to my date.

What. Fun.

**Told you guys.. Short! But I'm writing literally right now so hopefully I can upload another chapter soon!**

**REVIEW, FAVOURITE, FOLLOW!**

**I love you all:)**

**OnlyOneToBlame**

**P.S- Is it weird that I keep a little book of my progress from this story? Maybe a little...**


	7. Chapter Seven

**A/N: ****Sorry I haven't been posting! My last day of school was on Thursday, so I was getting a whole bunch of homework done, and... It's not "writers block", but it's like I'm bored with the part I am at now, and want to get to some... Other parts that will happen.. So that's why the chapters are a little crappy and taking longer to post/write.**

**Disclaimer: I cannot write anything as weird as two parabatai falling in love with a downworlder, who may or may not be a warlock, a boy who is in love with his sister, who actually isn't his sister, who also has an identity problem, and the girl he is in love with, her brother is also in love with her, but he's kinda not her brother but still is, and the guy was like possessed and then not, and then thought he was a demon, but he's actually an angel, and then has this fire or something growing inside of him, BUT WE DON'T WHAT HAPPENS UNTIL LIKE A COUPLE MORE WEEKS.  
**

**Chapter Seven**

_I had to learn what I've got,_  
_And what I'm not,_  
_And who I am._  
_I won't give up on us,_  
_Even if the skies get rough,_  
_I'm giving you all my love,_  
_I'm still looking up._

Just keep calm. I don't think he'll bug you. _Too much_. Jace's' head is down, glaring at his phone, so I throw my backpack at his face and start climbing in. When I am finally all buckled up, I glance at Jace before taking my bag.

How does one define Jace's face right now?

It's simple.

You can't.

**Jace P.O.V**

She's in the car. She threw her bag at my face. Why is she in the car? She has a perfectly good car that she drove to school, so why is she getting in this car? What's going on? Why is Jem getting in the car and smiling at her? Are they going on a date? What are they going to do with Will and me? Are they going to drop us off?

WHY IS SHE IN THE CAR, IF IT IS NOT TO BE WITH ME?

"What's going on?" I finally ask, not taking my eyes off of Clary. My beautiful Clary.

It's Jem who answers. "Well, I am going to drop you and William off before Clary and I go for our date."

"_Date_? Where?" I almost screech out loud. Why is she going on a date? _With another boy!_

"Chill, Jace. I can go on dates with whom and when I want." No. You're supposed to go on dates with me. We're supposed to date, and then get married, and have three kids!

…

Okay, maybe that sounded a little weird, but it's not like anyone but my head heard it.

Clary is running her fingers through her uneven strands of hair. How can something so simple, look beautiful? Only Clary can make anything and _everything_ beautiful. The way she bites her lip while concentrating on something important; whether it be a sketch, painting, something she's cooking, or during her homework. The way when she's playing video games with the gang, how her nose scrunches up and her eyes narrow. The way when I say tease her, she'll stick out her tongue childishly. Everything she does is a work of divine beauty.

I realize, a little lately, that I've been staring at Clary for most of the ride, a happy small smile on my face. But she's staring back at me. I want to ravish and kiss her silly by the way she's looking at me.

She looks at me like she knows each and every secret I hold deep within me. She looks at me, and I would happily give her my body, mind, and soul. She looks at me, and I come apart, falling into crumbles at her feet. When she smiles, you can't help but smile back at her. When she laughs, you have no choice but to watch as her eyes close, and how her head bends backwards, how she smiles while laughing, those lips, how they look. Her skin, so soft, not like a baby, but like a cloud. Her eyes are what will break you though. Bright green eyes with darker green at the edge, and flecks of golden brown hidden.

People call her a short ugly red-head, but to me she's everything beautiful and lovely in the world.

"- so we're going to the carnival, then I was going to take you out to a late lunch, early dinner at Taki's, then go for some ice cream. Does that sound okay?" Jem asks Clary, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Yeah, that sounds fantastic!" Clary answers with a smile. Are my eyes deceiving me, but did she look at me for a quick millisecond after she said that?

"The carnival over at Saint Xavier's Elementary school?" I ask. That's Max's school, now I have a reason why I would be at the carnival. Now I just need to convince Max to go with me.

"Yeah that one. I thought it'd be fun to go back and replay old memories there." Jem answers.

Score!

A few minutes go by, listening to the song on the radio that are being replayed too much that I no longer like the songs. The radio switches to the 'Blurred Lines' song, and everyone yells at Jem to change the song this instant. Jem drops Will off, then drives in the direction to my house, which is only a couple blocks away.

Would it be so bad if I wanted to reach across the middle seat, and grab Clary's hand? To feel her soft fingers and palm underneath my calloused one?

All too soon, we arrive at my house.

And I exit the car, without saying thank you to Jem, or a goodbye to Clary. I walk into the house, searching for Max so my plan can work of following Clary to her date.

Not creepy.

"Max!" I shout, throwing my bag into a nearby chair. "We're going to the carnival, so get your shoes on!"

I can hear the footsteps of a small boy racing down the stairs as I walk into the kitchen and grab an apple.

"For reals?" He asks.

"For reals." I confirm.

"Why are we going, though?"

"Because there's someone I need to watch out for there."

"Clary?"

"Yes."

**A/N: My excuse for this being crappy, and taking so long is because... I don't know. The next chapter will be of Jace stalking Clary on her date with Jem, so that is something to get excited for!:D**

**Also, so there are some people that are confused on the ages, and what grade they are in. Some people want Jace in the grade up, but that's not what I'm going to do. I don't know when Clary's and/or Jace's birthdays are in the book, but it's probably going to be like me for Clary, I should be in the grade below me, but I'm not, so yeah. I don't know if I've posted this or not, but this is the grade whatchamacallit.**

**Simon, Isabelle, Clary, Jace, Jem- Juniors**

**Alec, Magnus, Will- Seniors**

**So we are on 48 reviews, (For just six chapters, HOLY CRAP BUBBLES!) do you think we can get to 55 reviews? :)**

**Question: What do you guys read your fanfics on? Kindle, laptop, or phone? Mine is on my phone and one on my kindle, but I post on my laptop.**

**Loves,**

**OnlyOneToBlame :)**


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